Souled_Bid on Love_Bachelor 1 Page 5

  With no reply I reached for the handle and gently pulled it down, the door moved and cracked open and I knocked again as I made my way in.

  My aching heart tore into a thousand tiny pieces when I saw her crouched up on the closed toilet seat nursing her legs with her arms. It was clear she’d been crying from her tear-stained face. The look of devastation on her sad face crushed me. Rushing over to her, I knelt in front of her.

  “Hey,” I said, the tenderness in my voice conveying how I felt about her, “Don’t cry, baby. I didn’t reject you, Charlotte. I stopped what we were doing out of respect for the both of us. I never brought you up here to use you. Believe me when I tell you nothing would have given me more pleasure than to take what I wanted… and I really would have loved to have given you a night to remember. But, you mean more to me than a quick fuck.”

  Charlotte glanced at me briefly as another tear slid down her face. She sniffed and swiped roughly at her bloodshot eyes which were still full of unshed tears. Her still swollen lips from our kisses were pinched into a tight line and looked blanched at the edges. I felt as if she wanted to reply but as her pale cheeks grew pink, I knew I’d embarrassed her.

  “Let me ask you something? Do you think I’d have brought any other girl up here, sweetheart? I’ve done this only once before in the five years I’ve owned this place. If anyone else had won that bid the winner’s date would have been something small and corny—like a trip to a roller or ice rink and a burger dinner in a small-town diner. This,” I gestured around widely with my hand, “This is my home, honey. Not somewhere to bring my hook-ups.”

  This time when I eyed her I saw the impact of my words run over her face in an array of emotions. My hands moved to her hair, and I pushed it back, then I cradled her head between them for her to look at me.

  I felt my frustrations ebb in reaction to her vulnerability in that moment. Sighing heavily, I gave her a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, truly. You have to have felt how attracted I am to you by the heat in those kisses we shared. But like I said, you mean more to me than a quick fuck and one sordid night of meaningless sex. I want us to be lifelong friends.”

  Swallowing down her emotions, her eyes roamed the bathroom walls for a moment then she looked back at me and gave me a sad smile. Her eyes, still brimming with unshed tears gazed intently into mine, then she nodded, brought the tissue to her eyes and swiped again.

  “I know I behaved badly. It was a foolish thing to do.”

  “Not foolish at all… we got a little… overheated. And it’s not all on you. We were caught in the moment. I don’t know, maybe there was something inside us after all these years that caused us to lose it like that.”

  Suddenly her nose crinkled, and she smirked wryly as she suddenly became aware of how little she wore. Hugging herself tighter she hunched her body further against her legs and intuitively I stood up and grabbed a bathrobe from behind the door.

  Holding it up in front of her I waited until she stood and slid her arms into each sleeve. Turning her to face me I reached up and cupped her chin between my thumb and forefinger, “What do you say we grab a snowmobile and head into town? There’s an awesome little café I know that does these incredible pastries and hot chocolate?”

  For a second, she hesitated, then I saw her shoulders sag like she was relieved for the normality of doing something simple.

  “Sure. Let me freshen up.” She nodded and turned toward the vanity unit, but I was suddenly reluctant to leave. My heart felt heavy at the damage I’d done by crossing the line in the first place. Sometimes I had found in life doing the right thing often left me feeling like shit. I stepped outside and closing the door, I turned and ran my hands through my hair. Shit.

  Chapter Five

  Whilst Charlotte composed herself, I fired off a quick text to Gregory and asked him to ready the snowmobile. I knew I had a way to go to redeem myself from what had just occurred between us and I felt annoyed with myself that I hadn't had more control.

  After donning some warm ski-wear, I laid out some of my spares for Charlotte, figuring she was around the same height as me. Although they would look a little loose on her, I knew they would do the job of keeping the biting cold wind out. I had only just done this when she came back from the bathroom looking much fresher and less devastated than when she’d gone in.

  At first glance she looked embarrassed, so I decided not to broach the subject of what had happened between us and instead nodded toward the snowsuit. “Even though it's late in the season, we still have plenty of snow. I figured instead of the car we’d take the snowmobile over the ridge into town,” I said encouraging her to put it on.

  An excited smile instantly changed her features and her beautiful eyes were much brighter again. “Really? I love snowmobiles. Any chance we can get a few runs in?” My eyebrow shot up at her suggestion and my face broke into a grin. Her request was music to my ears. I had planned to wait until morning to take her out on the trail, but I didn’t mind giving into her request a day earlier.

  * * *

  Proficient wasn’t the word for Charlotte’s ability on the slopes, she was an exceptional skier. In fact, I would go as far as to say she had far greater finesse than I had. Her body lines, impeccable judgment, and speed, made her look like a rival for any professional competitive skier on a downhill or slalom event. My jaw dropped more than once at the level of risk she judged as she weaved left and right, leaving tall sprays of fine powder in her wake.

  Negotiating the most difficult and challenging diamond runs with ease, Charlotte looked completely in her element and I couldn’t think of anyone I knew who’d made as short work of them as she had, including myself. Her lack of fear and skiing expertise left me in awe.

  At no time did she ever look like she’d put a foot wrong, and from the bright sunny expression on her face when she careened toward me at speed and stopped short with inches to spare, I could tell she found the sport as exhilarating as I did.

  Breathless and smiling widely, the pleasure she derived from our time on the slopes radiated from her like a burst of sunshine. What I liked most was there wasn’t a trace of how upset she had been before.

  “Wow, doesn’t this make you feel alive? These runs aren’t bad, but not that challenging, huh?” she commented as she pulled a thick padded glove off by her teeth and smoothed the stray wispy tresses of her dark shiny hair. Her eyes sparkled with excitement and I couldn’t help but smile affectionately at her.

  I got what she meant. As an adrenaline junkie, the wide spacious slopes reduced the risks, and it was all too easy to utilize these to slow down instead of relying on skill and concentration to negotiate the run.

  “Do you ever go off-trail here?”

  “Yep, my favorite downhill is just over that ridge,” I said nodding over to my left. Charlotte pivoted on her skis from the waist to take in the high flat ridge and turned to smile back at me.

  “Can we go there tomorrow if you’re game?”

  “Oh, I’m game,” I said in a teasing manner. It struck me how she could appear to be vulnerable in some ways and totally confident in others. “Alright, tomorrow I’ll take you over to the north side. I’d never have suggested taking you there, but it appears as if you’re more than a match for Lavender Ridge. It’s a steep ski down but the view of the mountains and the virgin powder are incredible.”

  I noted Charlotte’s lips changing color, and she had begun to shiver, indicating she was cooling down after her fast adrenaline dump on the downhill. I had to warm her up before we made our way back on the snowmobile again. “But for now, let’s grab some hot chocolate and get that down you before you freeze to death and spoil my date.”

  Grinning from ear to ear, Charlotte pulled her glove back on and slipped her arm through mine. "Alright, Mr. Rockstar, lead the way,” she said in a mocking tone which made me laugh. Feeling her close to me and the way she snuggled into my arm made my heart feel light and my stomach flip, but I pushed thos
e feelings to the back of my mind as soon as I thought of what had happened between us. I knew I had to be careful from that point on not to give her any more mixed signals.

  There wasn’t a moment’s silence between us as we headed down to the town below and by the time we entered a small quaint café I knew we were both ready for our warm drinks. Charlotte looked windswept and rosy cheeked as she studied the menu.

  For a few moments I was too busy studying her to think about what to order. Fixated on her gorgeous perfect profile I couldn’t help noticing how stunningly vulnerable she appeared; the luminance of the whites of her eyes contrasted perfectly with her dark chocolate colored irises and the effect against her rosy, yet pale complexion was breathtaking.

  Warning signs flashed before my eyes and I chided myself for objectifying her and glanced up at the menu board behind the counter as I fought another urge to touch her again. The more I was around Charlotte, the warmer my feelings grew toward her.

  I knew from what had happened in my cabin that it had become increasingly difficult to maintain a sense of propriety, especially after my slip up earlier in the day. I feared in that moment of my ability to remain strong around her when I was attracted to everything about her.

  When I looked back again, I was immediately drawn to the cute way her neck scrunched between her shoulders as she cupped the mug of steaming hot chocolate between her tiny hands. When she pursed her rosebud lips and gently blew across the surface of the boiling liquid with care, my cock twitched notably in my pants. I’d never seen any woman look so innocent and sinfully sexy at the same time. Then there was the cute foamy mustache she wore on her upper lip when she sipped the foam from the white porcelain vessel.

  Seeing the way her tongue poked out of her mouth as she savored the remnants of the warm, sweet liquid made me hold my breath as I fixated on the sight. Breaking my own rules again, I reached out and swiped the pad of my thumb across her lips when I could no longer resist catching the small amount she had missed. Then I became focused on my thumb as the temptation to suck it off hit me again.

  It almost crushed me when she gave me a seductive smile as if she knew what I was thinking, and I figured she’d had the same thought as me. I'd been fifteen years old the last time I had a hard on from sitting next to a girl… until I sat next to Charlotte in the coffee shop.

  In my head I was having this stupid argument with myself that she was only a woman and I’d had plenty of girls like her in the past, but then she lifted the strawberry pastry she’d chosen and demolished it in four bites and I was transfixed and enthralled once again.

  I’d rarely ever focused on anyone eating before but she had me mesmerized both with the hungry way she devoured the small cake and by the most erotic noises I had ever heard fall out of a woman’s mouth outside me fucking them. For the briefest moment I seriously considered buying her another to watch her repeat the process, but I somehow restrained myself from doing that.

  Thank God for padded snowsuit pants because when we stood to leave the café, my cock was rock solid. Ensuring she walked ahead of me, we headed out into the cold dusk and thankfully it was only a few seconds before my head was back in control of my cock.

  Taking her for a short walk, we wandered through the neat rows of stores with their wooden walkways and savored the ‘old town’ feel of the place. We picked up some essentials for Charlotte since we were heading out off-trail the following day and began our walk back to where I had parked the snowmobile to head back to my home.

  As I glanced around at the picture postcard beauty of the place, I knew I’d never tire of being there. High in the American Rocky Mountains the air was thin, but pure and clear, and even though it was almost summer, the town still had a wintery feel. Fresh snow had landed on the lingering hard-packed icy load that had lined the streets since November.

  During our short walk back, a few people approached us to ask how I was doing, and when the next album was due; but some of them only wanted to say hi. I didn’t mind them at all because they weren’t intrusive like some of the fans I had to deal with in general who became hysterical until I spoke and then they’d usually become tongue tied and awkward to relate to.

  After a while, I noticed even in the snowsuit Charlotte had begun to shiver. I had forgotten how quickly the temperature dropped as the sun became low in the sky. Excusing us, I placed my arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to me as I directed her toward our ride.

  I was about to ask if she was okay when she said, “I’m frozen to the bone.” She drew away from me, dug her hands deep into her pockets and pulled her shoulders toward her ears. Immediately, I pulled her back into my side and wrapped my arms around her. For a few seconds, I rubbed her back and arms then when I had started the snowmobile, I sat her on it and asked her to grab the hand warmers on the handlebars.

  As soon as I’d ensured her temperature was okay, I climbed on the machine and drove us home at speed. It was less than a five-minute ride over the clearing to my place, but it wasn’t visible from the town. I liked the convenience of where it was situated, and I’d managed to maintain my privacy since I’d been there.

  It was my fault she was cold. I’d kept her out longer than I had intended, but this was because I was worried about how I’d react once we were alone with my plans for dinner, wine, and being alone with her in my home.

  Every scenario my brain conjured up involved the roaring log fire, seductive low lighting, and my customary background music that was ever present when I was home. It was a recipe for disaster and I knew it would take all of my willpower not to fall into something with her if the opportunity presented itself.

  “Come on, let’s get you home. What you need is a soak in the hot tub. That’ll warm you up.” I almost groaned as soon as the words were out because that meant coping with the sight of Charlotte in next to nothing again.

  She made me smile when she hugged me tight and stuck her face against my back.

  * * *

  By the time we got back the sky was black and clear, yet the scattered stars in the sky shone brightly. The night air was crisp and as Charlotte stepped off of our transport, she blocked one of the porch lights. A plume of her breath rose into the night air when she stepped forward and the light illuminated it as it crystalized in the air.

  When I unlocked the door, and we stepped inside her cheeks immediately burned red with the temperature change. “Oh my God it's as warm as toast in here,” she exclaimed as she peeled away the layers of clothing she wore. When I saw her push the oversized snowsuit to the floor unveiling her gorgeous frame again, my mouth went dry.

  With my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, I cleared my throat and moved past her, toward the chrome control panel on the wall. Flicking the switches for the hot tub and sauna on, I turned back to face her.

  “The bedroom you were in earlier is yours,” I informed her with what I’d hoped was a friendly smile and I moved past her in the direction of the hallway. For her sake I tried to shrug off what had happened between us the last time she was in there and acted as if nothing had gone on before.

  Immediately, her eyes connected with mine when I crossed her path and I couldn’t have missed the disappointment I saw at my effort to get back on platonic terms with her.

  “Don’t look at me like that.” I said as I reached out and took her hand. Guiding her along the hall and into the room, I led her gently toward the bed and sat her down. I chose to sit on the bedside chair facing her.

  When I had chosen to give her this particular room, it was with convenience in mind because it was next to mine, with access to the outdoor elevated decking platform. It had the same glorious snow-covered mountain views and sliders led out onto the hot tub, and sauna room. The furnishings were cream and gold. It was elegant, but I liked to think she found it was comfortable as well.

  Leaning forward, I placed my elbows on my open thighs and rubbed my hands together. “What I did earlier should never have happened, Charlotte. I almost l
ost myself with you today, and that wouldn’t have been fair. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very attracted to you, but I’ll be leaving town in another week or so. I hate myself for pushing the boundaries with you. I respect you too much.”

  Frustration changed her expression as her annoyance radiated off her. She sighed. “What if I don’t want your respect? Why does you leaving have to stop us from doing what feels so natural between us?”

  “Because I don’t want to hurt you, sweetheart. My life is crazy, and I’d hate for you to think I’d used your body and skipped town when I had to leave.”

  Charlotte flicked her hair behind her shoulders and stood up before wandering over to the sliders. She placed her head against the cool glass and I watched her every move in silence as I waited for her to say something. After a few moments she sighed heavily.

  “I’m no longer a child, McKenna. I don’t need your protection. This wouldn’t be on your shoulders. Whatever happens is on me... or don’t you believe women can enjoy sex for physical pleasure and not to form attachments?”

  “You already said you may still have a crush on me.”

  “That doesn’t mean I want a happily ever after with you, McKenna,” she told me in a quiet voice. “Stop treating me with kid gloves. You’re not going to tell me you’ve never had an itch you wanted to scratch just for the sake of it. Look at you.”

  Charlotte gestured the length of me with an extended hand. “I’m not in love with you, I’m in lust.” Her comment took me by surprise and made me chuckle. “What I’m saying is you’re not husband material, you’re every woman’s fantasy.”

  The smile froze on my face and I didn’t know whether to be hurt, angry, or relieved, by her comment. Being rejected as someone she wouldn’t consider worthy of her in any meaningful way hit me square in the chest. It wasn’t the best feeling I’d ever experienced.