Missing Beats Read online

  “You’re still waiting for me, right, Josie? I mean I know we’re fairly new and our relationship had just gone to the next level when I was sent to this godforsaken hole. I’d hate to lose out on you because I really like you,” he stated frankly.

  “I haven’t been dating anyone else, I’m looking forward to you coming home,” I replied with conviction.

  “I’m relieved to hear it, honey. You’re a beautiful girl. I can’t wait to get back and pick up where we left off.”

  I felt myself blush at his inference. We were good together and I had started to miss him while he’d been away.

  “You’ve gone quiet…did I say something wrong?”

  A nervous giggle escaped and I cleared my throat. “Mmm, no you didn’t…I just don’t know what to say to that.”

  Elliott gave a hearty laugh down the phone, “It was good wasn’t it? Who am I kidding, sex with you is awesome. I’m hard here just thinking about what I did to you, and it was almost a week ago.”

  A twinge pulsed between my legs and I wriggled uncomfortably, changing position. His words were turning me on and a small thrill of excitement ran through me.

  “I was worried the timing of this trip would cool things between us,” he admitted.

  “Same here,” I agreed. He was a handsome guy and I was sure he wouldn’t be short of company while he was away. We’d left it that we were free to see other people while he was gone. Personally I hadn’t been happy with that. When he’d suggested it, I had felt obliged to agree. We were new and we hadn’t had the opportunity to discuss us being totally exclusive. I’d been honest with him when I told him I had a long-standing date night arranged with Michael—a colleague from work, who had invited me to his sister’s first night performance of a play.

  “Dare I ask—Michael?”

  The fact that he’d asked made me think he’d been concerned. “Sure. We went to the theatre, had a great time at dinner then I drove home alone. I explained I had started a new relationship and that I liked you, and although he was disappointed, he was happy that I’d found someone to take care of me…I mean, his perception of what we are, not mine.”

  “No? You don’t want me to take care of you?”

  “You know what I mean, he has me married off already, when it’s still…new, you know?”

  “I’d be happy to take care of you, Josie. I’m a little bit in love with you already,” he said in a quiet voice.

  My heart squeezed, I was touched, and although I couldn’t tell him I loved him back at that point, I knew I was emotionally invested in what we had.

  “Thank you, let’s just see how it goes, shall we? I may start to irritate you in another couple of months,” I said, making light of his comment. “Anyway, what about you? Have any of those pretty French ladies snuggled up to you?”

  “Had some company yes, but I kept my cock in my pants if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “Nice to know. And yes, I was asking.” Oddly enough I didn’t feel jealous and I was relieved he’d answered honestly.

  Since we were early in our relationship and didn’t have too many people in common, we ran out of things to say. It was late for him as he was six hours ahead of me anyway, so I used that as an excuse to conclude the call. I felt much better for having spoken to him and decided a long soak in the bathtub was in order before I tried again with the movie.

  Chapter 2

  Cell shock

  Steam filled the bathroom as I filled the tub and inhaled deeply. The vapor burned my lungs but the ache felt strangely pleasurable. I undressed and began to step into the bath. I had barely dipped my toe in the water when my cell rang again. Thinking it was Elliott calling back, I swiped to take the call and stepped into the bath.

  “Did you have to wait until I was wet and naked to interrupt me?”

  “If that’s the case, Jo, then yes, and as always my timing is perfect for conversing with naked women,” he said, in that same flirtatious tone I’d heard on the TV.

  My heart stopped momentarily. The tingle from the lack of oxygen to my fingers and lips were reminders to breathe while I stood paralyzed by the sound of his voice. Gasping, I sucked in a long breath while my heart flipped over inside my chest and bounced up into my throat. “Kane?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. “Kane Exeter?”

  “One and the same, Jo. Don’t let me interrupt your wet nakedness…please continue,” he crooned, with a smile in his voice.

  Stuttering for words while my heart found its rhythm again, I half-crouched down toward the bubbles, not sure whether to get out or stay in there as my brain struggled to compute that he was actually calling me again after all these years.

  “No…no. You’re not interrupting. I mean I wasn’t doing anything.”

  “Well, sure sounded like you were doing plenty from this end with your ‘wet and naked’ comment.”

  “I thought you were my friend,” I blurted out, as my shock turned to hurt when I remembered that he’d abandoned me all those years ago.

  “Damn, I am, remember? And I want to be the friend you’re wet and naked for. I’m jealous.” His flirtatious comment made him laugh.

  Blood rushed to the surface of my skin but I ignored the sudden heat, and asked, “Is it really you?” My voice sounded hesitant, but with good reason after all this time.

  “Who?”

  “Kane?”

  “Of course it is. God, it’s good to hear your voice, honey.” The way he said that felt like it was my fault we had all those lost years. Suddenly I was furious. A rush of anger knotted my stomach and tightened my jawline. After all those years of no contact or communication apart from one birthday card, Kane had cut me dead.

  “You’d have heard it a lot sooner if you hadn’t dropped me from your life, Kane.” My clipped tone was bitchy and harsh.

  “Ouch. Don’t be like that, baby. You were only ten years old, Jo, I was twelve. Life took us in different directions, and when Mom died I had to cut contact for my sanity. You were a link to my Dad and all the hurt I felt around that time. I had a tough few years following the loss of my parents. I don’t expect you to understand, but I had to do what I did to get by. My counsellor insisted.”

  “So after twelve years you want to pick up where we left off? Or did you want something in particular?” A few hours earlier I’d been sobbing on the sofa about this guy, and like some miracle he calls me as if he’s telepathic. And what do I do? My first conversation with him in twelve years, I just about tore him a new asshole on how he had let me down.

  “You sound so pissed off, Jo. I’m really sorry, babe. I never meant to hurt you. Cutting everyone from my past was the only way I could keep a handle on things. Losing my Dad almost killed me. Samuel Exeter was my hero, Jo, not just the country’s.” My mind pulled the image of his grief to the forefront and my anger instantly ebbed away with that.

  “Okay. I can accept that even if maybe I don’t get it. I was really hurt. Devastated, Kane. Your parents died, but from how I felt at the time it was like you had too.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry, Jo. I was an angry kid back then. Life just kept kicking me in the balls and I was bagged with all the advice and strategies everyone wanted me to follow. I’d have done anything not to feel that horrible feeling of hopelessness.” All the hurt he had experienced was evident in his voice, and by the time he’d finished talking, any hostile feelings I had toward him had vanished.

  “Sorry,” I offered, feeling ashamed for only thinking of myself. “I am happy to hear from you. What did you call for? Why now?” I hated that I hadn’t just said something more giving.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Did I leave it too long? I knew it might be, but I want you to know it took guts for me to pick up the phone and call you. I’ve wanted to…many times.”

  A pang of sympathy shot through me, mainly because his tone wasn’t the flirty one that the call had started out with.

  A stony silence
hung between us and I realized that this may be my one and only chance for us to make amends. We hadn’t spoken for twelve years. What if he never rang back?

  “Kane, you’re right. I am really, really pleased to hear from you. I just have twelve years of being angry and frustrated at you to get off my chest,” I stated honestly.

  “As you are naked, babe, you can get anything you like off your chest…just so long as I can watch,” he said, slipping into the humorous, flirty tone he’d had on TV. “And for the record, I’m all for great angry make-up sex.” I giggled because his frank comment was so unexpected, it embarrassed me a little.

  “So where are you?”

  “Is that a where are you, come right on over for the angry make—”

  “No it damn well isn’t,” I answered giggling.

  “Shoot, it was worth a try. To answer your question, I’m in Boston.”

  “Boston?” I repeated.

  “Yep, but we’re playing in your neck of the woods in a couple of days, and I figured as I had some downtime before the gig it would be the perfect time for a make-up session with you…without the sex of course…or with. I’ll take you either way…or every which way,” he said softly. I could hear a smile in his voice, and even though I should have been embarrassed because we really had nothing in common apart from our childhoods, I couldn’t help but feel flattered that he’d even bother to flirt with me.

  “When…I mean…no to the sex, but I’d love to see you. When are you here?” My heart raced with excitement while my head had a hundred and one different things going on at the same time. I didn’t know what to think.

  “On my way to the airport later tonight, honey. Although, I wish I was there right now, with you being wet and naked and all,” he chuckled, continuing with his flirtatious banter. I felt my face flush and more than one pulse between my legs. I was confident it was all show and when he arrived I’d find him nothing like the guy on TV. After all, we were innocent kids when our friendship had blossomed.

  “I see you’ve mastered the art of flirting?” I said, and was glad he couldn’t see me when I said it. By that time my neck was bright red right down to my breasts, and my cheeks were burning. The effect of his sudden call felt surreal, like it was all too much to take in.

  “So where will you be staying when you’re here?” I asked, wondering if I had anything suitable to wear to visit a swanky hotel. Then I had a mild panic attack about how I didn’t want to show up at a hotel and ask for Kane in case they thought I was one of his groupies.

  “Jesus, Jo, what the fuck happened to you? Where did that quick witted soulmate go? You used to know what I was thinking.”

  Soulmate? Using that word took me by surprise. I’d never have thought he viewed the connection we had in the same way as I had. Suddenly, I was scared; my feelings were a jumble of excitement, apprehension and anticipation. I knew he was joking with me, but the thought that Kane wanted to see me again after all this time gave me an infestation of butterflies that warranted a fainting fit at the very least.

  “Do I need a hotel or do you have room for me there? I can crash on your couch, I’m not fussy.”

  Stunned I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it. I hadn’t seen Kane for over a decade, and although we were close as kids I knew nothing of the rock star he’d become. I figured he had probably become accustomed to a lifestyle my tiny apartment couldn’t compete with. Suddenly, I feared we were so different we probably didn’t have much to say to each other. What if we had nothing in common these days? Do I want to be stuck tongue-tied in my own apartment with a virtual stranger?

  “You want to stay here? In my apartment? With me?” My disbelief came across in my voice, adrenaline fueling a slight tremor in it. I was sure my heart rate was at the very least, one hundred beats faster than usual.

  “Jeez, you make it sound like a mass murderer has asked to stay, Jo. It’s me, Kane Exeter, the kid from way back. I don’t have much time in Maryland and I don’t really want to spend it waiting for you, or you for me because we’re in different places. It would be great to sit somewhere I know the press won’t find me and catch up on all the news about Matt and Jacob as well as yours. I was pretty sure you’d be up for that, but I guess I never thought about the time lapse,” he said as his voice trailed off.

  “How did you get my number?”

  “Your Mom. It was lucky your parents were still at the same address. I had my PA dig up the number and I called your Mom. So anyway, you’ve got my number now that I’ve called you. Your Mom told me you lived alone so I figured you may like to catch up on the lost years, give me some company, and we could just hang out.”

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable in a hotel?” I was uncertain I would know what to do with him after a few hours.

  “Would you be more comfortable if I stayed in a hotel?” Kane asked, throwing my question back at me.

  I’d thought about him for years and cried like a baby when I watched him earlier on the interview, so even though I had a million reservations and I wasn’t usually a risk-taker I answered, “Stay. I’d love you to stay. Don’t expect luxury. my place is pretty minimalist. I’m on a tight budget.”

  “Jo, baby, I’m not going to notice what your place is like. I’ll be too busy staring at you after all this time.”

  I felt myself blush scarlet again, but I knew he hadn’t meant that in any romantic way. My heart skipped another beat and a small thrill ran though me just the same. If he continued to flirt like that I was going to have to change my underwear more regularly. No doubt about it, if flirting was an Olympic sport, Kane Exeter would be a medal contender.

  “Can you pick me up at the airport? It would be less noticeable than a driver with my name on a placard. If not, I’ll need your address. I don’t have that.”

  God. He wants me to meet him? I figured he was being overfamiliar considering the time that had passed, but the familiar feeling was still there despite the years. “Sure I’ll meet you—”

  “Great I’ll text you the details. Oh, and Jo…I think I’ll need a picture. You probably look way different to the last time I saw you,” he said with a soft laugh.

  Just before I’d climbed in the bath I had caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror. I had looked dreadful. Puffy eyes from crying, limp straggly hair, and no make-up. Since his call I had blushed so many times I was sure I looked like a hot mess. “Okay, I’ll send one as soon as I’ve finished my bath.” I was trying to sound casual but my mind was racing ahead to the flat irons and make-up job I was going to be doing straight after our call.

  I placed my cell on the vanity unit when we’d finalized the details. I exhaled heavily, still very much in a state of shock. Sinking down into the water, I ducked my head until my face was the only part of my body that wasn’t submerged. Bubbles crackled around in my ears until they dispersed while the steady sound of my heartbeat pounded through my body. Then came two seconds of calm while I adjusted to the silence of lying there. After that, I slid myself back into a sitting position when the impact of what had just happened hit me again and my mind went into overdrive. I had to prepare. As soon as I’d shaved almost everything, except the hair on my head, I washed that hair and spent another two hours making myself date-ready for the selfie picture I had to send to the drop-dead gorgeous, pantie-melting, rock star who was coming to stay.

  Straightening my hair, I stared blankly into the mirror wondering if I’d dreamed the whole thing up, but with that thought my cell vibrated on the countertop and a flight number flashed across the screen. When I opened it I was stunned to see his flight arrived at 5:45 am. Less than eight hours away by that time, as it was already 8:10 pm. Fourteen selfies later, where I’d pouted, smiled, tried to look casually attractive and failed miserably, I finally sent one that was less than perfect but the best of a bad bunch. Kane answered immediately with one word. Boner.

  It was a few seconds before I realized my
jaw was hanging and I had just about managed to swallow my heart back down to my chest. Adrenaline flooded my body and the blood swished loudly in my ears in reaction to his flirty response. Excited and petrified, I could barely breathe. Kane had loved shocking me as a child, but weirdly I had heard his voice in my mind as I read that word and I could hardly think of anything else all evening—not his boner—just Kane.

  On autopilot, I began to clean and polish while I reflected on how his life had changed. I had a great deal of sympathy for him. First his dad had been killed, then his mom died in a tragic accident less than a year later. I instantly connected with the emotions I’d felt the day my mom told me about it. At the time my heart had splintered into pieces at the thought he’d been left alone. We never knew his mom had passed until after the memorial service because no one ever contacted us; it was an acquaintance of my dad’s that told him. Last we’d heard he went to live with his mom’s brother and his wife but I had no idea where. I guess, like he said, his cross was too much to bear, and cutting us out of his life limited his grief in some odd way.

  After that day, I’d heard nothing from him for ten years and initially I grieved the loss of Kane from my life for a second time. For several years there wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t think about him at least once. Then out of the blue on my twenty-first birthday, he sent a card to my parents’ house. I had stopped thinking about him by then, but receiving that card, and knowing he still thought of me enough to know it was my birthday, had been the best gift ever.

  It was the day after my birthday before the depression set in and his card left me feeling frantic because it had a Baltimore postmark on it. To know he was still close by after all that time made me slightly crazy for a while. I’d spend hours searching the faces of every man on the streets in the hope of bumping into him one day. It never happened, and that handwritten envelope and card are still ranked amongst my most treasured possessions to this day.